[quote="terra"]'ja' means 'even' here.

not totally sure, but the phrases either split up like this:

[i]boku wa kitzuita nda, zetsubou no kurayami ja [/i]
[i]hari no ana no kibou ga taiyou ni mieru [/i]

or this...

[i]boku wa kitzuita nda [/i]
[i]zetsubou no kurayami ja hari no ana no kibou ga taiyou ni mieru [/i]

there's a tiny amount of fudging to get the latter to work in translation, but it sounds more poetic than the former. ;D[/quote]

I think the phrase is meant the second way. That's how I have it set up above.

fudging indeed. I think that this works a lot better than what I had this morning (I went home before work and played with it to get something that sounds better). But some fudging is indeed what I did XD.

I've noticed it;
even in the darkness of this despair,
through the eye of a needle is hope;
I can see the sun.

This is a damned hard stanza to phrase well in english... >.< the idea that hope is there because he can see just a little bit of light in the darkness, i.e. through the eye of a needle, but finding a good wording for it is hellishly difficult.

Anyway, here's the whole translation that I got:

-----------------------------------------------------------

01 - Good morning good news

Have you noticed?
The ship swaying in despair
is, little by little, beginning to slip
away to an ocean of recovery.

I put my hand to my heart,
asking, how many times?
This wind I feel is everything,
a melody I can believe in.

Surely without a reason
I'll stop crying.
I'll aim at the brilliant sky
with you, and a blank shot will ring out.

Now, the pain of that day I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

I've noticed it;
even in the darkness of this despair,
through the eye of a needle is hope;
I can see the sun.

This curtain in my heart
is something that I chose myself.
If I were worried about it,
I'd tear it off in an instant without caring.

Now, the pain of that day I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

To this self that I am still unused to*
I'll make a wager for everything.*

Have you noticed?
The ship swaying in despair
is, little by little, beginning to slip
away to an ocean of recovery.

-------------------------------------------
*this is the only other part that i seem to be having trouble phrasing. other than that, I think I got it right.

next i plan to do hibi no uta, which i never really did fully.

Well, I don't actually know Japanese, but your translation reads really well, which probably means that you did a good job. I like it.

but 'kibou' is still the subject of mieru, since it has the 'ga'. ;p

[quote="terra"]but 'kibou' is still the subject of mieru, since it has the 'ga'. ;p[/quote]

yeah, but "i can see hope through the eye of a needle, i can see the sun" is a little more awkward, so I put it in the way it is above.

ok, this is how i would put it:

I realized
Even in the darkness of despair
The hopes in the eye of a needle
Can be seen in the sun

taiyou ni mieru - can be seen/can see (it) in the sun
[[i]something[/i] ga] taiyou ni mieru - i can see [something] in the sun

i guess what i should have said is that taiyou is not the subject of mieru. 'taiyou' is where the hopes are visible as it is marked by the 'ni'.

[quote="terra"]I realized
Even in the darkness of despair
The hopes in the eye of a needle
Can be seen in the sun [/quote]

Perhaps coincidentally, that's word for word how I re-translated it after your guidance.

[quote="terra"]I realized
Even in the darkness of despair
The hopes in the eye of a needle
Can be seen in the sun
[/quote]

This is one of the situations where I get what is meant but can't figure out the most accurate and still comfortable way to put it. He sees just a little bit of hope in the sun, even in the darkness. I suppose that's definitely a way more accurate translation of the phrase, but it sort of loses the flow and becomes really jerky.

how about:
I realized that
even in the darkness of this despair,
hope, through the eye of a needle,
can be seen in the sun.
?

I hate these hard phrases >.<

Have you noticed?
This ship swaying in despair
is slipping bit by bit
to a sea of recovery.

I put my hand to my heart,
asking "How many times?"
This wind I feel is everything,
a melody I can believe in.

Surely without a reason,
I'll stop crying.
I'll aim for the dazzling sky
with you, and a blank shot will ring out.

Now, the pain of the day that I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

I noticed it.
Even in the darkness of this despair,
The hope of an eye of a needle
can be seen in the sun.

This curtain in my heart
is something that I chose by myself.
If I were worried about it,
I'd tear it off in an instant without caring.

Now, the pain of the day that I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

To this self that I'm still not used to
I want to gamble it all.

Have you noticed?
This ship swaying in despair
is slipping bit by bit
to a sea of recovery.

I guess this song seems to be mostly about hope but I never would of thought those lyrics matched up with the song.
Thanks for update and the lyrics!

Have you noticed?
This ship swaying in despair
is slipping bit by bit
to a sea of recovery.

I put my hand to my heart,
asking "How many times?"
This wind I feel is everything,
a melody I can believe in.

I'll surely start to cry
without any reason.
I'll aim for the dazzling sky
with you, and a blank shot will ring out.

Now, the pain of the day that I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

I noticed it;
In this dark despair,
though it's as small as the eye of a needle,
this hope is as bright as the sun.

This curtain in my heart
is something that I chose by myself.
If I were worried about it,
I'd tear it off in an instant without caring.

Now, the pain of the day that I ran from
will begin to leave my heart.

I want to bet it all
on this still-unfamiliar self.

Have you noticed?
This ship swaying in despair
is slipping bit by bit
to a sea of recovery.

-------------------------

UPDATED. Massive thanks to ボイス母. She posted on her mixi blog about this and how she wished she could correct that part with the eye of a needle in it, so I fixed it.

Hey, I was looking at this today, and was wondering if this stanza:

To this self that I'm still not used to
I want to gamble it all.

should actually be:

I want to bet it all
on this still-unfamiliar self.

or something similar?

Considering the first stanza doesn't make any sense, you may be onto something.

[quote="Marekenshin"]Hey, I was looking at this today, and was wondering if this stanza:

To this self that I'm still not used to
I want to gamble it all.

should actually be:

I want to bet it all
on this still-unfamiliar self.

or something similar?[/quote]

I concur, and so does ALC.

ALC gives:

すべてを～に賭ける=bet everything on