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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Good Bye Present Translation
Here is my translation for Good Bye Present. Basically the song is the good bye present to whomever he's braking up with or whatever. haha
This is my first translation for IM, so...be gentle. Let me know how you liked it and what I should do to improve it.
Japanese:
わかっていた wakatteita わかっていた wakatteita もう終わりなんだって mou owarinanndatte ただ泣いていた tada naiteita ただ泣いていた tada naiteita でもキミは去って行く demo kimi wa satte yuku
穏やかな愛の歌 贈りたい Odayakana ai no uta okuritai 悲しみを越え Kanashimi wo koe 濁りのない愛の歌を Nigori no nai ai no uta wo
間違っていた machigatteita 間違っていたのかな machigatteit no kana 出会ったことも Deatta koto mo もしそうだって moshisoudatte もしそうだって どうせ moshisoudatte douse 好きになっただろう suki ni natta darou
やわらかいキミの声 yawarakai kimi no koe 胸の奥 閉じ込めたまま mune no oku tojikometa mama 忘れないよ まだ良いよね wasurenaiyo mada iiyo ne
本当の優しさ hontou no yasashi sa 目を逸らしたまま me wo sorashita mama キミを傷つけて Kimi wo kizutsukete 手に入る未来なんて Te ni hairu mirai nante 輝くはずもない Kagayaku hazu mo nai
穏やかな愛の歌 贈りたい Odayaka na ai no uta okuritai 悲しみを越え Kanashimi wo koe 濁りのない愛の歌を Nigori no nai ai no uta wo 偽りのない愛の歌を Itsuwari no nai ai wo uta wo
English:
I knew it I understood that it was already over You were crying I was crying But you left me.
I would like to give you a tender love song. It's a pure love song to overcome my sorrow.
It was a mistake. Even us meeting may have been a mistake. Even so… Even so, I fell in love anyway.
I keep your sweet voice in the bottom of my heart I won't forget. Still, It is nice.
I closed my eyes to true kindness and hurt you, so there's no way the future I take hold of will be bright.
I would like to give you a tender love song. It's a pure love song to overcome my sorrow. A love song with no lies.
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
Last edited by TheFamousLoser on Wed May 09, 2012 2:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 3:59 am |
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ShwahnStuff
vain dog
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:34 am Posts: 305 Location: Oregon
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
Thank you very much, kind sir!
_________________ [color=#004080]See your cell phone [/color][color=#8040FF]yesterday[/color][color=#004080].[/color] [color=#804080]Imagine your cell phone [/color][color=#FF40FF]tomorrow[/color][color=#804080].[/color]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:37 am |
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ChubbyRaccoon
rookie jet
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:37 am Posts: 264
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
I thought it was a really clear translation. I thought this song was weak after the totally pumped up Comic Sonic, but with the lyrics it's softened my opinions of it. Lyrics help so much, thank you!!!
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[url]http://www.last.fm/user/ElSmochi[/url]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:57 am |
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MyFoot
contact admin for a custom title
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 9:05 pm Posts: 1845 Location: New York
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
Very awesome, thank you again!
_________________ I wonder if I am sick So this door will never break I need to know more about my space It's Penalty Life
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 12:57 pm |
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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
[quote="MyFoot"]Very awesome, thank you again![/quote] [quote="ChubbyRaccoon"] thought it was a really clear translation. I thought this song was weak after the totally pumped up Comic Sonic, but with the lyrics it's softened my opinions of it. Lyrics help so much, thank you!!![/quote] [quote="ShwahnStuff"]Thank you very much, kind sir![/quote]
Thanks, you guys! I'm glad that I could help. Anything else you want done?
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 2:22 pm |
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ShwahnStuff
vain dog
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 12:34 am Posts: 305 Location: Oregon
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
[quote="TheFamousLoser"] Anything else you want done?[/quote] Moon Gold. 
_________________ [color=#004080]See your cell phone [/color][color=#8040FF]yesterday[/color][color=#004080].[/color] [color=#804080]Imagine your cell phone [/color][color=#FF40FF]tomorrow[/color][color=#804080].[/color]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 2:51 pm |
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MyFoot
contact admin for a custom title
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2006 9:05 pm Posts: 1845 Location: New York
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
I would love Hello Girl. 
_________________ I wonder if I am sick So this door will never break I need to know more about my space It's Penalty Life
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:00 pm |
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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
[quote="ShwahnStuff"] Moon Gold.  [/quote] the whole album?!
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:26 pm |
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ChubbyRaccoon
rookie jet
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:37 am Posts: 264
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
All of 90's my Life :3 And Rosy Head.
Moon Gold would be good too. Anything that hasn't already been done would be perfect.
_________________ This thread needs about 20% more coolness.
[url]http://www.last.fm/user/ElSmochi[/url]
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:39 pm |
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Marekenshin
moderator
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 3:28 pm Posts: 12301 Location: Lost Angels
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
I'd make some edits to it, you sort of missed the "kanashimi wo koe," which is less "after the sorrow" and more like "a pure love song to overcome the sorrow." Second, the "tada naiteita" x2 shouldn't be "you were crying, I was crying," in my opinion, I think it's more him crying and crying because of her leaving. It's hard to find a good phrasing to the "mada ii yo ne" in the second chorus, as he's saying that he won't forget her sweet voice which is still a nice memory to him, and that's sort of a long concept in English. The next part is more "I closed my eyes to true kindness and hurt you, so there's no way the future I take hold of will be bright."
Overall a decent translation, just fix up a few spots and smooth it out and it's set, I think.
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Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:29 am |
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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
Cool! Thanks!
Your corrections make perfect sense too. Thank you for pointing that out to me.
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
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Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:38 pm |
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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
[quote="ChubbyRaccoon"] Anything that hasn't already been done would be perfect.[/quote]
right. I'll get right on that. lol
I started looking at Moon Gold. They lyrics are a lot more stylized than some of their newer stuff. Really interesting stuff, but really hard to translate accurately. lol
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
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Mon Apr 09, 2012 4:41 pm |
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ChubbyRaccoon
rookie jet
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:37 am Posts: 264
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
I can imagine it's more like abstract poetry than clear "This is A because of B" given other translations I've read.
_________________ This thread needs about 20% more coolness.
[url]http://www.last.fm/user/ElSmochi[/url]
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Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:48 pm |
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TheFamousLoser
tiny buster
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:49 pm Posts: 109 Location: Houston, Texas
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 Re: Good Bye Present Translation
[quote="ChubbyRaccoon"]I can imagine it's more like abstract poetry than clear "This is A because of B" given other translations I've read.[/quote]
Yes. Exactly. It's very poetic. And like English songs even, it's not like it's completely correct grammar all the time, so it's hard to decipher.
_________________ [color=#008000]二度と本当の顔は誰にも見せたりしないぜ。[/color] [url]http://www.youtube.com/user/TheFamousLoser[/url]
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Mon Apr 09, 2012 8:41 pm |
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