[quote="I"]Mesu Buta lyrics[/quote]

herp derp, wrong link.

Now that's some blatant plagiarism, Blank..

[quote="Dewith"]A few new songs:

https://augustlives.bandcamp.com/album/dove[/quote]

Dove is a big improvement! And my absolute favorite from yours!!
I can see with this one you were inspired by the podcast because you started the song with an Anacrusis! I also noticed there's almost no dissonance in this song! Probably your first song ever without dissonant synth notes!! I also liked the vibe you had here it sort of reminisce of 90s britpop like Oasis or The Verve. I also dug the guitar playing in this one. This sounds like your take on the pop genre which you did pretty well!

Become - I quite liked this one too! Personal, but it works!!
I quite liked the backing vocals as well, were you doing contrary motion here?

Caravan - A little too much dissonance going on for my taste. The intro is still a bit too long for my taste but fared a lot better than your previous intros. I really liked the guitars here as well.

So far the single is pretty good! A huge improvement over you're previous stuff. Just work on those intros still, and you should be all good from here!

[quote="GoldenRhino"]Now that's some blatant plagiarism, Blank..[/quote]
...on the internets, nobody knows you're mineta.

[quote="CARNVAL372"][quote="Dewith"]A few new songs:

https://augustlives.bandcamp.com/album/dove[/quote]

Dove is a big improvement! And my absolute favorite from yours!!
I can see with this one you were inspired by the podcast because you started the song with an Anacrusis! I also noticed there's almost no dissonance in this song! Probably your first song ever without dissonant synth notes!! I also liked the vibe you had here it sort of reminisce of 90s britpop like Oasis or The Verve. I also dug the guitar playing in this one. This sounds like your take on the pop genre which you did pretty well!

Become - I quite liked this one too! Personal, but it works!!
I quite liked the backing vocals as well, were you doing contrary motion here?

Caravan - A little too much dissonance going on for my taste. The intro is still a bit too long for my taste but fared a lot better than your previous intros. I really liked the guitars here as well.

So far the single is pretty good! A huge improvement over you're previous stuff. Just work on those intros still, and you should be all good from here! [/quote]

Thanks a ton. Definitely inspired a little by that podcast. It was really a combo of the podcast and I believe it was Mare suggesting playing a higher capo scale to better fit my vocals. Had a pretty big Oasis (and sometimes even Verve) phase growing up in high school, so I can agree with you that there!

Not exactly too sure what contrary motion is, but when I did record it, I had in mind to actually repeat the words not in order. When I did that at first, it sounded too congested and I couldn't make out the words clearly, so I just introduce the vocals one line at a time.

The problem I had with Caravan was that I couldn't pick an area to start with it. I had actually been playing that song for a few months and never got around to recording it; when I did, I couldn't think of what area to introduce, hence why I did fade in and fade out for that song.

Do you have any other songs out? I've been digging your improvement lately. It's always so cool to see people progress, or rather grow, in music.

[quote="Dewith"]Not exactly too sure what contrary motion is, but when I did record it, I had in mind to actually repeat the words not in order. When I did that at first, it sounded too congested and I couldn't make out the words clearly, so I just introduce the vocals one line at a time.[/quote]

Contrary motion is when an instrument goes up and the other instrument goes down. For example; one instrument plays Ab-A-Bb-B, while the other plays B-Bb-A-Ab.

[quote="Dewith"]The problem I had with Caravan was that I couldn't pick an area to start with it. I had actually been playing that song for a few months and never got around to recording it; when I did, I couldn't think of what area to introduce, hence why I did fade in and fade out for that song.[/quote]

Not sure about fade ins but fade outs are almost never a good thing. There have been too many good songs that have been ruined by a fadeout. It's always better for a song to have an ending. I would start on the main parts of the song as the intro, whether it's the verse, bridge, or chorus. What did you wanted to introduce on Caravan? Did you wanted to get to the main parts? Or did you wanted to start it with some type of preview of the song?

[quote="Dewith"]Do you have any other songs out? I've been digging your improvement lately. It's always so cool to see people progress, or rather grow, in music.[/quote]

I've been working on one for the past few days. I'm almost finished with it, I just need help with the solo section as I'm experimenting on solos for my FAWM songs. I've also recently caught a cold, so I've been too fatigue lately to finish the song. Hopefully, I will finish it today. Thanks for the compliment!

[quote="GoldenRhino"]Now that's some blatant plagiarism, Blank..[/quote]
Interesting note, if you translate a song, you're entitled to the intellectual property rights of that song if you cover it.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]

[quote="Dewith"]The problem I had with Caravan was that I couldn't pick an area to start with it. I had actually been playing that song for a few months and never got around to recording it; when I did, I couldn't think of what area to introduce, hence why I did fade in and fade out for that song.[/quote]

Not sure about fade ins but fade outs are almost never a good thing. There have been too many good songs that have been ruined by a fadeout. It's always better for a song to have an ending. I would start on the main parts of the song as the intro, whether it's the verse, bridge, or chorus. What did you wanted to introduce on Caravan? Did you wanted to get to the main parts? Or did you wanted to start it with some type of preview of the song?

[quote="Dewith"]Do you have any other songs out? I've been digging your improvement lately. It's always so cool to see people progress, or rather grow, in music.[/quote]

I've been working on one for the past few days. I'm almost finished with it, I just need help with the solo section as I'm experimenting on solos for my FAWM songs. I've also recently caught a cold, so I've been too fatigue lately to finish the song. Hopefully, I will finish it today. Thanks for the compliment![/quote]

I was thinking I needed a lead-in for that song or something. I like all the parts; I guess I was just working with what I had as opposed to trying to properly introduce it. And yes, I didn't want to end it on a fade out, guess I was just being lazy about finishing up the song.

Look forward to your experimental solos! I'm not, by any means, accustomed to soloing properly, haha.

[quote="Blank"][quote="GoldenRhino"]Now that's some blatant plagiarism, Blank..[/quote]
Interesting note, if you translate a song, you're entitled to the intellectual property rights of that song if you cover it.[/quote]
WELL HEY NOW, I JUST FOUND ME A PATH TO RICHES.

Here's 1989, copyright me, pls don't steal: https://soundcloud.com/midnight-down/1989a

So after battles of illness, work, school, and the songwriting process, my third FAWM song is finally up! http://fawm.org/songs/72157/

Constructive criticism encouraged and welcomed!

[quote="Marekenshin"][quote="Blank"][quote="GoldenRhino"]Now that's some blatant plagiarism, Blank..[/quote]
Interesting note, if you translate a song, you're entitled to the intellectual property rights of that song if you cover it.[/quote]
WELL HEY NOW, I JUST FOUND ME A PATH TO RICHES.

Here's 1989, copyright me, pls don't steal: https://soundcloud.com/midnight-down/1989a[/quote]

Another good song you wrote! I liked the use of the sus4 chords in the verse sections. I also liked the chord progressions in the chorus (i suppose that is the chorus?). However I feel as though the first progression I-iii-IV would've sound nicer if it was this instead, I-iii-IV-iv or I-III7-IV-iv. And yes that III7 is a secondary dominant but it's used tastefully as a chromatic transition in the chord progression which itself is sort of a chromatic descending counter melody,

[b]D[/b]-F#-A
F#-A-[b]C#[/b]-E
G-[b]B[/b]-D
G-[b]Bb[/b]-D

So that's another reason why it works. The latter progression that I suggested was also famously used by Radiohead, David Bowie, and Steven Universe. As for the lyrics, they are very clever! I'm not sure who is it aimed at, but judging by the title of the song and the period you used here, I'm going to assume it's about your devotion to the pillows!

My wife was born in '89, haha; so for Valentine's Day this year I wrote her a song where I told her she's cooler than the pillows.
Thank you for the lyrics compliment, I'm quite pleased with them.

I'll try playing around with the chords you're suggesting, although I'm set on this song using the IV for the full phrase as opposed to going into the iv, although that is a useful progression indeed.

What a coincidence, I was also born in '89! Anyways, I hope your wife liked the song then!!

Yeah definitely leave the song the way it is! Instead use those progressions in your future songs!!

[quote="Marekenshin"]
Here's 1989, copyright me, pls don't steal: https://soundcloud.com/midnight-down/1989a[/quote]



[quote="CARNVAL372"]So after battles of illness, work, school, and the songwriting process, my third FAWM song is finally up! http://fawm.org/songs/72157/

Constructive criticism encouraged and welcomed!

[/quote]

Glad you introduced that second guitar early on; really built the song up nicely. I enjoyed how you switched up the strumming around the minute mark. Definitely some improvements going on with your work man; keep it up!

Hokay, finally found some time to listen to stuff.

[quote="Dewith"]A few new songs: https://augustlives.bandcamp.com/album/dove[/quote]
Like Carnval said, this is really great stuff. I thought the lower vocals on Become were a bit too loud in the mix initially, but when everything else comes into play it works nicely. Overall, the balance on your mixing is a lot more consistent on this, and I dig the punchy pacing of the "release" in general. All three songs are really nice, and they all stand out from each other while having a flow that ties them together pretty well.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]http://fawm.org/songs/72157/[/quote]
Wow, your singing sounds really great on this one! There were just a few notes that you seemed to just barely miss, but overall I think your delivery has greatly improved here. On some of your previous recordings the consonants can be much too harsh and the vocals sound almost on the edge of yelling, but there is very little strain here. Keep it up! I also really enjoyed the dual guitars, and the nice little solo in the middle. Cute that a song about having no harmony has so many great harmonies going on!

[quote="Marekenshin"]Wow, your singing sounds really great on this one! There were just a few notes that you seemed to just barely miss, but overall I think your delivery has greatly improved here. On some of your previous recordings the consonants can be much too harsh and the vocals sound almost on the edge of yelling, but there is very little strain here. Keep it up! I also really enjoyed the dual guitars, and the nice little solo in the middle. Cute that a song about having no harmony has so many great harmonies going on![/quote]

Thanks for the compliment on my vocals, I'm trying hard to sing better in my recordings compared to my previous stuff. I was wondering what songs that came to your mind when I started to pronounce consonants very harsh as well as yelling? I mean I believe you, but I wanted to hear how much of a difference I've made in my current singing. This is another song where I did one-take on vocals. About the no harmony idea, I originally wanted to do an acapella for the song to reflect the idea of the song but then I would've not used the James Bond chord progression, or at least I would've not known how to pull off the acapella. I will definitely work on acapella for my next song upcoming (Not the one that I'm currently working on). Though time is running out for me on FAWM, so I probably won't be able to do one for it. But I really liked the idea because it's always cool to try something new in my songwriting even though I'm unable to execute it well.