Double post because I do like the idea of writing a shit-ton of songs this month:

https://soundcloud.com/midnight-down/dr ... -raindrops

Tried to use slightly more interesting chords for CARNVAL.
Edit: it really has been super rainy here lately. I keep being unable to play guitar during my lunch break at work more days than not. California needs it yadda yadda etc., though.

[quote="Marekenshin"]Oh, hey, thanks for reminding me about how to use 7 chords to change keys (I had to look up what a secondary dominant was lols) by bringing those up! I'll think about using one in another song, and I'm pretty sure there are a handful (2ish?) songs I've written that do use them, but for this one I think just a plain ol' V is great because of the way the next phrase launches straight into a snappy upbeat progression leading off the I. That section is really just a little decoration/contrast to the fun "can't/can/can't" stuff right after before it launches back into the main hook again.[/quote]

I don't think it's necessarily a key change. You can still be in the key signature is just that the secondary dominant chord will contain a note that doesn't belong in the key signature. Anyways, i'm glad we discussed over this even though in the end we didn't come with an agreement. Using out of key notes is similar to adding condiments to food, too much can be bad, however a little of it can be good! It spices your songs and keep them refreshing and they can even also be unpredictable if used wisely.

[quote="Marekenshin"]Thanks to both of those! I'm not actually sure what I'd consider the various sections on this song, as it's really got a structure liken ABAA' or maybe ABCABA', if you think the little "so far from home" is it's own part rather than the tail of the main section. The Skeleton Liar similarity was unintentional, as I was going for more of a Robert Pollard with a chord progression/rhythm I had used for an intro in an old song, but putting it into that key made it really obvious where I pulled that from subconciously, huh? The flower motif was a purposeful nod towards Sawao and his love of using them in imagery. [/quote]

The amount of loud and quiet towards the end got me thinking it was verse/chorus. I'm sorry If it isn't. Yeah after the "so far from home", that's when the quiet/build up to loudness parts started happened. Oh and for build ups, why not try singing non-chord tones on "there yet" this a perfect way to add tension to the part before it resolves to the chorus. Yeah that IV-I-V got me thinking that you got it from Skeleton Liar lol, but then I realized that Skeleton Liar ends on the ii (Em), while your's ends on the V (A), so that's when the similarities ends I suppose. Never noticed that Sawao used flower imagery in a lot of his songs, I only knew a few, but maybe I'm over looking things.

[quote="Marekenshin"]Anyway, I gave your FAWM song a listen - the vocals are once again cleaner and your intended notes are much clearer. I feel there are a few spots where you stay on the same note for the vocal melody longer than I would have chosen to, but I think it kind of gave me something of a classical vibe. Maybe that was the chord progression? Anyway, it's not my style of music, but I do think you're improving as a vocalist, and the crisp guitar strumming was solid.[/quote]

Yeah the vocals were done in one take because I was getting impatient during the recording process and just wanted to end it and just get a rough idea of the song instead, so not everything was recorded to near perfection. And yeah I noticed that my vocals also had a few tension notes by accident, I kind of lost myself in the singing process so I hit some notes that weren't intentional. The song is in A minor harmonic mode, so I guess that's why it gives you a classical "feel" to it, though I don't recall classical music containing b7 chords but I can feel you.

[quote="Marekenshin"]
EDIT: Oh yeah, and I'll maybe consider looking at this FAWM thing another year, but having such narrow interests, I'm not really that into such a broad-interest group. I'm trying to be a little more forward-thinking about how I go about building up my skills and musicianship, and I am down with feedback and talking shop with fellow musicians, but I'm also content with the smaller network I have already that I engage with at my own pace. [/quote]

You don't have to do the challenges, participate in forums, collaborate with songwriters, post the lyrics, or even do demo recordings, they are all optional. However, you do have to post the song titles of the songs that you have finished in order for the website to track your progress. The website is intended to encourage songwriters to write a song, that's pretty much it. So you can be less involved with the community as much as you want. It has other good things to aid you in your songwriting but like I said before, they're totally optional. I also feel most FAWMers feedback are just as good as it is done here. Just include what type of comments you want in the "Liner notes" section, though of course you would have to post a demo of the song, if you want any constructive feedback. Also, your demos don't have to be spot on, actually, your demos on soundcloud are good enough to be on FAWM! While you can post your previous songs that you've written before FAWM, it defeats the purpose of what FAWM aims at songwriters, and that is for them to grow by writing new songs. So try to take a moment if FAWM is right for you.

I listened to your Raindrops song just now. And it is an improvement. The chords that you used here are definitely interesting and more pillows-esque. I also liked how you ended the chorus on the vi. I also liked how you started the song off an anacrusis!
I also liked the lyrics, on here, other than the imagery, you're also using narrow pools of metaphors as well! For such a song that's in-key, it's a pretty enjoyable one!!

I also like how you're motivated to write more songs this month. But if you do get caught in a loop hole, remember that FAWM is always there to help.

Haha, can we call these verses and choruses, with so little repetition? This one's like AABCD and never comes back around. I'm not even sure what key this is really in, and need to look up "anacrusis" like I did secondary dominant, lol.

Speaking of, I know sec doms are not just for key changes, but I had been trying to remember easy key change techniques and that's the main one I was trying to remember.

I'll consider giving the site a look for funsies, but since music is so subjective I tend to not be as worried about the feedback from others as I am my own pride in the song. I mean, I like feedback, but moreso from people I know and whose tastes I understand somewhat than from strangers; and I also basically only care about pleasing a tiny handful of people taste-wise even among friends/family. Selfish music in the hopes it eventually becomes something that resonates personally with a few, more than trying to write for people as a whole.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]Here's the link to my first fawm song: [url]http://fawm.org/songs/67734/[/url]

Constructive criticism appraised and welcomed.[/quote]

Alright, here's something positive: I think your way of creating songs via rules/tickets is really cool - I can see the potential there in leading to some unusualideas.

Listening to more of your tunes, I'm getting a bit clearer on certain common elements that don't seem to click so well for me (maybe they're things you want to consider too). Overall, they're elements that make it difficult for my brain to decide if I'm listening to a standard folk-type tune, or something that [b]intentionally[/b] plays with dissonance for a particularly destabilizing effect.

One FAWM comment on that track mentions "atonal" vocals - I hear what they're getting at, in that it's often difficult to determine which is an intentionally out-of-key note (I mean, in an avant garde way) or something that's just a little pitchy. The brain can deal with imperfect voices and pitchiness - lord knows I've got an imperfect voice. But there's definitely some gray area going on that makes parts of the melody difficult to listen to, because they seem kinda microtonal, and in not a blues kinda way. I'm betting a lot of that is caused by the fact that your melodies are actually pretty difficult to sing! There are lot of leaps and drops, and if you're already having some difficulty with pitch, these melodies are only going to make the task more challenging.

I actually sequenced out your melody in Ableton (best my ear could make out), and that issue jumped out at me. You should see how the melody leaps up and down pretty clearly there: [url]https://onlinesequencer.net/import2/debb0fcc3624cb7824f9257b21471e33?title=mountain.mid[/url]

One other comment related to dissonance is that often your melodic phrases end on tension notes/non-chord tones, without resolving. Not a problem per se, but you may want to watch how much you're teasing and stressing the listener's ear with that.

[quote="Mare"]Hello[/quote]
Great vocal tone again! I really liked the "And they say that you can't..." lines/chords - very juicy bits, what with the syncopated rhythm and stuff. Actually sort of reminds of some moments in Midnight Down. I think the song fits nicely in your vocal range, but I did wonder at moments if you tried to sing it higher a bit. idk idk

[quote]secondary dominants[/quote]

One of the most common, useful ways to use a secondary dominant, is using the III7 to ~*temporarily tonicize*~ the vi (relative minor). So, if your song is in C major, you could throw in an E7 to lead into an Am, making that section of your song feel temporarily "at home" in a sad place. It's not appropriate to call it "transposing to Am", since you're only staying with that feeling for a moment...but yeah, good'n there. The first example of this that comes to mind is in Belle & Sebastian's "[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rc-Tj8fnc]String Bean Jean[/url]", around 0:38 here...relatively, the progression goes C, [b]E[/b], Am. The secondary dominant makes the lyrics"after dark" land even harder.

And just a bit of fun, [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ub9ltOUH1I]The Secondary Dominants Song[/url].

I'll consider tossing a capo on there for Hello in the future and seeing how that sounds. :O

Re: secondary dominants, right, I read up that they are commonly used for that brief tonicization - I'm just excited about relearning one of the easy key change techniques I forgot beyond jumping straight to a relative minor or fumbling through chords you don't know the names of until you figure it out haha. I'd probably benefit from learning theory instead of just goofing around on guitar and songwriting all the time...maybe someday lol. For now, maybe I'll try to think about whether I'm using secondary dominants for this brief tonicization in any songs I've written and see about playing around with it a bit.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]Here's the link to my first fawm song: [url]http://fawm.org/songs/67734/[/url]

Constructive criticism appraised and welcomed.

[quote="Dewith"]https://augustlives.bandcamp.com/album/honeysuckle[/quote]

I liked "Drag" the most because it starts off the vocals early on and keeps the listener engaged for the duration. But I also liked the chords here you used as well. Kind of gives me of George Harrison vibe here. Also it's the only track with the least dissonance notes in it. I also liked how you turned down the excessive repeats that I have pointed out on the last EP, nice job! I also liked the descending chromatic counter melody in "Sundowner". You also have nice guitar tone throughout your songs.

Now for the downside of this EP, I still think the intros are way too long, they don't quite engage me enough to listen to the songs for long. I was really getting annoyed when the vocals were going to come for "Sundowner" for example. I understand you're trying to set a vibe for the songs, and that's cool. But there needs to be balance of setting the mood but yet keeping the listener engaged throughout the song as well. And like I mentioned before you can recycle previous parts of the song and set that as the intro to the song. Not only this will keep the listener engaged but it will also make that part more memorable. This is considered a modified intro and you can read more on it here [url]http://beatlessongwriting.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/ticket-4-recycle-your-os.html[/url] It's also explained in the current Beatles Songwriting Academy podcast, BTW have you gotten to listen to it by any chance? This will give you nice ideas on how to make intros more captivating. Aside from that, I feel like there's a bit too much dissonance in the synths.
[/quote]

"and so I Joined" is a nice little song. I felt as though when you sung the words "together" and " weather," you could put less emphases on "TH" sound in the middle; It would have made a little easier transition, so I believe. All in all, nice little song! Definitely improving on those chord progressions; keep that up!

Was it all the majority of intros of every song too long? When I recorded (or rather worked on the idea) of Sundowner, it had been since November and I knew recording it that you would touch on the beginning intro . The dissonance notes are, to an extent, purposeful. I'm not one to know much about scales or anything like that because I taught myself by ear; however, I don't see a problem making songs less dissonance. Definitely something I can work on, but at the same time, for me at least, makes it different and distinct.

I DID happen to listen to episode 6 of the podcast (not all the way through yet because it was about 80 mins long and I can't focus on that while I do my studies, so I've found out) and I really enjoy the content in it; this is why I need to give full attention to it. So i'll probably finish up the episode this weekend whenever I finish up my studies. Solid suggestion man, Thank you!

Edit: I finished that episode 6; so good. The whole break break of songs in relation to other artists is grand. I see (or hear rather) what you were talking about adding new sounds and not having intros. Very interesting podcast.

[quote="Marekenshin"]
https://soundcloud.com/midnight-down/dr ... -raindrops
[/quote]

I love your singing transition! Very pretty song. The chords are very interesting, especially in the ending. Again, very much enjoyed this singing in this song.

Bastardized F chords can move around the neck just like C chord variants (the 1x3200 shape is what I think I was using there, but up on A/G/D and tuned down to Eb standard).

Oh yeah, and I forgot to say this, but like GR pointed out, CARNVAL's in-depth writeup and detailed approach was interesting, for sure. I always enjoy seeing into the ways that other artists approach their work.

Here's my second FAWM song, [url]http://fawm.org/songs/69136/[/url]

Constructive criticism is encouraged and welcomed!

[quote="Marekenshin"]Haha, can we call these verses and choruses, with so little repetition? This one's like AABCD and never comes back around. I'm not even sure what key this is really in, and need to look up "anacrusis" like I did secondary dominant, lol.[/quote]

Yeah we can call it verse/chorus even if it doesn't repeats itself; sure, it would be a very short song, but it will still count as it. An anacrusis is basically starting on the second beat of the melody. It's also known as the pick-up beat which you did there after one chord was struck before the melody started. You did it in a 60s soul-like style, if you were going for that type of opening.

[quote="Marekenshin"]Speaking of, I know sec doms are not just for key changes, but I had been trying to remember easy key change techniques and that's the main one I was trying to remember.[/quote]

I just realized what you actually meant (doh!). I was quite confused when you mentioned it as a key change (thinking you were rephrasing "out-of-key notes" for a different word). But I realized that you were actually talking about an ACTUAL key change! lol
Yeah I didn't realized that secondary dominants could be used to switch keys. I only knew that they would often be used as a substitution to the dominant chord. But I also knew that they can substitute minor chords as well. Anyways thanks for pointing that out, I may want to incorporate this trick in one of my songs!

[quote="Marekenshin"]I'll consider giving the site a look for funsies, but since music is so subjective I tend to not be as worried about the feedback from others as I am my own pride in the song. I mean, I like feedback, but moreso from people I know and whose tastes I understand somewhat than from strangers; and I also basically only care about pleasing a tiny handful of people taste-wise even among friends/family. Selfish music in the hopes it eventually becomes something that resonates personally with a few, more than trying to write for people as a whole.[/quote]

Now I seem to understand you wholesale! The reasons you provided beforehand, seemed vague to me, but now I understand you very clearly!! I'm sorry if I was forcing you to sign up with FAWM, I thought the details that I've covered in my posts about it didn't came all that clear to you, so that's why I kept trying to explain it farther.

[quote="GoldenRhino"]Listening to more of your tunes, I'm getting a bit clearer on certain common elements that don't seem to click so well for me (maybe they're things you want to consider too). Overall, they're elements that make it difficult for my brain to decide if I'm listening to a standard folk-type tune, or something that [b]intentionally[/b] plays with dissonance for a particularly destabilizing effect. [/quote]

Can you list those songs that came to your mind about it? I would really like to get in-depth of this, and point out the cause of these atonal notes.

[quote="GoldenRhino"]
One FAWM comment on that track mentions "atonal" vocals - I hear what they're getting at, in that it's often difficult to determine which is an intentionally out-of-key note (I mean, in an avant garde way) or something that's just a little pitchy. The brain can deal with imperfect voices and pitchiness - lord knows I've got an imperfect voice. But there's definitely some gray area going on that makes parts of the melody difficult to listen to, because they seem kinda microtonal, and in not a blues kinda way. I'm betting a lot of that is caused by the fact that your melodies are actually pretty difficult to sing! There are lot of leaps and drops, and if you're already having some difficulty with pitch, these melodies are only going to make the task more challenging. [/quote]

I should've mentioned in the "liner notes" that the song is in Am harmonic minor mode. And I'm guessing a lot of people especially westerners aren't really familiar with it, because it's more heard in eastern Asian music, which might explained the microtonal effect heard in the melody. And as I've done some research on it; it appears that their tone scale in their music expands farther than the usual 12 tone notes that we westerners are so accustomed to; so it may sounds as if the song isn't in a particular key, because we're not use to this tone scale. I would also like for you to point out what songs were difficult to sing, that would be very helpful.

[quote="GoldenRhino"]I actually sequenced out your melody in Ableton (best my ear could make out), and that issue jumped out at me. You should see how the melody leaps up and down pretty clearly there: [url]https://onlinesequencer.net/import2/debb0fcc3624cb7824f9257b21471e33?title=mountain.mid[/url][/quote]

While the melody does leap and drop in there, I don't hear it in my song. I mean not all of it is wrong but for the most part, you didn't captured the melody correctly. I listened to the song's original melody, and compared it with the backing instruments to make sure that the melodic parts are in key. And from what I've listened, they seem to be in-key with the chord tones of the guitar chords. The only thing that sounded strange was the second chorus on the "Staying up" part. While the notes matched with the chord tones of the guitar chord, the pitch was higher than the other pitches heard in the song. I also recorded the vocals in one take, so if I had the ability to record more takes, I would've sung those "missing spots" a lot better.

[quote="GoldenRhino"]One other comment related to dissonance is that often your melodic phrases end on tension notes/non-chord tones, without resolving. Not a problem per se, but you may want to watch how much you're teasing and stressing the listener's ear with that.[/quote]

It works if the melody repeats itself that is the root note is soon to be present in the next line of lyrics. I can't quite recall singing tension notes in my songs that much, but on "I Saw A Witch", I pitched an A (4th) note over the word "flowers" at the end of the verse. And I thought that effect was pretty cool in a song that devoid tension notes in the melody. If you can use it the right way, it can add spice to your melodies.

I really want to thank you for your constructive feedback on my songs, they were very helpful. Especially the mention of my melodies being difficult. And I want to go in depth about that too as I'm interested in simplifying the melody, so it can be a lot easier to sing.

[quote="Dewith"]"and so I Joined" is a nice little song. I felt as though when you sung the words "together" and " weather," you could put less emphases on "TH" sound in the middle; It would have made a little easier transition, so I believe. All in all, nice little song! Definitely improving on those chord progressions; keep that up![/quote]

Ah! Got it! I will try to remember next time when it occurs!! Thanks for the suggestion.

[quote="Dewith"]Was it all the majority of intros of every song too long? When I recorded (or rather worked on the idea) of Sundowner, it had been since November and I knew recording it that you would touch on the beginning intro . The dissonance notes are, to an extent, purposeful. I'm not one to know much about scales or anything like that because I taught myself by ear; however, I don't see a problem making songs less dissonance. Definitely something I can work on, but at the same time, for me at least, makes it different and distinct.[/quote]

I think there were only a few long intros I've noticed, there might have been more but at shorter length. No problem on the dissonant stuff then, I was making sure this dissonant stuff was really intentional is all.

[quote="Dewith"]I DID happen to listen to episode 6 of the podcast (not all the way through yet because it was about 80 mins long and I can't focus on that while I do my studies, so I've found out) and I really enjoy the content in it; this is why I need to give full attention to it. So i'll probably finish up the episode this weekend whenever I finish up my studies. Solid suggestion man, Thank you![/quote]

You're welcome. Yeah, It's a very long podcast, but that's the only downside about it! If you're patient enough, you'll be definitely getting very valued information. Your studies should definitely be first. You can always listen to the podcast anytime you want since it doesn't have a deadline! lol But I'm glad you're interested in the podcast!! If you have any questions about it, let me know!

[quote="Dewith"]Edit: I finished that episode 6; so good. The whole break break of songs in relation to other artists is grand. I see (or hear rather) what you were talking about adding new sounds and not having intros. Very interesting podcast.[/quote]

Thank you so much for finishing it up! I Didn't see your edit part until now!! lol I'm glad you enjoyed it, then! Yeah it really opened my mind about intros and the purpose of it, it also has influenced me to incorporate them better in my songs. Actually, I'm following these tips for my FAWM songs. I think I will be doing the school hymn intro for my next song. I hope the podcast opened your mind about intros as well as it did with me. I also hope you start using any of these tips for your next up coming songs.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]Here's my second FAWM song, [url]http://fawm.org/songs/69136/[/url]

Constructive criticism is encouraged and welcomed!

[quote="Dewith"]Edit: I finished that episode 6; so good. The whole break break of songs in relation to other artists is grand. I see (or hear rather) what you were talking about adding new sounds and not having intros. Very interesting podcast.[/quote]

Thank you so much for finishing it up! I Didn't see your edit part until now!! lol I'm glad you enjoyed it, then! Yeah it really opened my mind about intros and the purpose of it, it also has influenced me to incorporate them better in my songs. Actually, I'm following these tips for my FAWM songs. I think I will be doing the school hymn intro for my next song. I hope the podcast opened your mind about intros as well as it did with me. I also hope you start using any of these tips for your next up coming songs.[/quote]

Just one suggestion (and i'm not the best by any means about giving advice), I feel as though the "so much" part would have been interesting if hit on a higher pitched voice as opposed to lower. By any means, I know nothing about music like others, but that's just my opinion. I really like the background guitar you've incorporated in this song; very kind to my ears. Not just this song, but your other songs too have nice background guitar licks!

Thank me? Thank you dude! I really appreciate your feedback as a whole, and I have applied some tips that you've given me actually; I just wrote a song with singing right from the get go. It turned out really awesome actually. I used some of the tips you've shared and remembered some that were on that podcast you shared. I am actually pretty excited to share it with you all. Thanks a ton again man

[quote="CARNVAL372"][quote="Marekenshin"]Speaking of, I know sec doms are not just for key changes, but I had been trying to remember easy key change techniques and that's the main one I was trying to remember.[/quote]

I just realized what you actually meant (doh!). I was quite confused when you mentioned it as a key change (thinking you were rephrasing "out-of-key notes" for a different word). But I realized that you were actually talking about an ACTUAL key change! lol
Yeah I didn't realized that secondary dominants could be used to switch keys. I only knew that they would often be used as a substitution to the dominant chord. But I also knew that they can substitute minor chords as well. Anyways thanks for pointing that out, I may want to incorporate this trick in one of my songs! [/quote]
I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure you can use them for modulation - if not, they can at least be used as part of a sequence of 7 chords to change keys, I'm almost certain.

[quote]Now I seem to understand you wholesale! The reasons you provided beforehand, seemed vague to me, but now I understand you very clearly!! I'm sorry if I was forcing you to sign up with FAWM, I thought the details that I've covered in my posts about it didn't came all that clear to you, so that's why I kept trying to explain it farther.[/quote]
No worries at all, I really like how eager you are to share things that you've found useful with the rest of us! I'm just super resistant to trying new things a lot of the time, lol. Usually with enough gentle reminders I find my way around to things eventually, but I have incredibly long lists of various things people have recommended to me that I don't really get through much of lol. I don't want to get your hopes up by promising to check it out, because even if it goes on the list it may never happen.

Just to throw this in about secondary dominants: they *can* be used to establish a new tonality, given the powerful V-I cadence. But this isn't necessarily the case, and is dependent on the context of the song.

For instance...
Transposing from C to Am: C, F, [b]E7[/b], Am...
Transposing from C to F: C, [b]C7[/b], F...
Transposing from C to G: C, F, [b]D7[/b], G...

But it's not always a key change. Try playing: A7, D7, G7, C7, F7... It's this chain of sec doms in the circle of fifths - it wouldn't be appropriate to call this four key changes. What matters is where most of your song is, and where you're trying to end up.

YouTuber Jeff Schneider shows how you can "jazz up" any chord progression just by using secondary dominants and chord extensions. You can "jazz up" Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but never truly leave the key of C Major.

Do check it out, even if you're not into jazz: https://youtu.be/-Pg_bcdEmo8

Phew, glad I wasn't telling people bullshit. I hate giving out bad information lol.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]Can you list those songs that came to your mind about it? I would really like to get in-depth of this, and point out the cause of these atonal notes. [/quote]

In "Dream" you're playing a DM7 chord at 0:50, while singing a b7. That b7 and 7 at the same time is pretty dissonant. In "Flying Above Me", the word "scape" in "landscape" feels somewhere between E and Eb, "above me" at 0:13 sounds somewhere between E and F. In "When the Chips Are Down", at 0:40, the "a" in "find a new" sounds somewhere between A and A#.

[quote="CARNVAL372"]
I should've mentioned in the "liner notes" that the song is in Am harmonic minor mode. And I'm guessing a lot of people especially westerners aren't really familiar with it, because it's more heard in eastern Asian music, which might explained the microtonal effect heard in the melody. And as I've done some research on it; it appears that their tone scale in their music expands farther than the usual 12 tone notes that we westerners are so accustomed to; so it may sounds as if the song isn't in a particular key, because we're not use to this tone scale. I would also like for you to point out what songs were difficult to sing, that would be very helpful.[/quote]

The issue isn't the harmonic minor scale - we're still talking Western harmony here, I'm sure everyone's pretty familiar with what that leading tone 7 sounds like (to me it gives a more "moody-classical" feel than an Asian one). I think the melodic difficulty of the song comes from the interval leaps and drops as I said: "climb-[b]ing[/b]", "around-[b]the[/b]", "moun-[b]tain[/b]"; "so I [b]joined[/b], and so I [b]joined[/b]",

[quote="GoldenRhino"]In "Dream" you're playing a DM7 chord at 0:50, while singing a b7. That b7 and 7 at the same time is pretty dissonant. In "Flying Above Me", the word "scape" in "landscape" feels somewhere between E and Eb, "above me" at 0:13 sounds somewhere between E and F. In "When the Chips Are Down", at 0:40, the "a" in "find a new" sounds somewhere between A and A#.[/quote]

Yeah all of those were unintentional. For Dream, someone mentioned that using complex chords made it hard to write melodies, and I think I used too much of complex chords in the verse of this one. I also didn't warm up my vocals for this one. I also didn't warm up my vocals for "Flying Above Me" either. As for "When the Chip Are Down", because of me overdoing the melisma at "Is", I didn't had enough time to take a breather for the next line "In the end", so I was struggling singing that line as well. Also noticed the volume drop after that line as well. Thank you for pointing those out to me!

[quote="GoldenRhino"]The issue isn't the harmonic minor scale - we're still talking Western harmony here, I'm sure everyone's pretty familiar with what that leading tone 7 sounds like (to me it gives a more "moody-classical" feel than an Asian one). I think the melodic difficulty of the song comes from the interval leaps and drops as I said: "climb-[b]ing[/b]", "around-[b]the[/b]", "moun-[b]tain[/b]"; "so I [b]joined[/b], and so I [b]joined[/b]",[/quote]

I see what you mean here. I had trouble singing the chorus. on "her", I ran out of breath. the "and so i joined" part made it difficult me to sing them. Now that we have discussed over this in detail, what can I do to simplify the melody? Also, what should I watch out for when writing melodies? Thanks!

A few new songs:

https://augustlives.bandcamp.com/album/dove